Writers Roundup: Who Should Be the First Porn Star President?

The U.S. Presidential election is nearing its tumultuous close. The country has been screaming at each other in a verbal war for nearly 18 months of campaigning, viciously disagreeing about what should be the future course of our country. The battle of the Republic is being fought between two candidates that even the most civil moderator would agree are incredibly unlikable. Numerous sex scandals, past and present, have rocked the boats of both campaigns which got the writers at HotMovies thinking… why not nominate a candidate impervious to sex scandals? You can’t be too controversial when you’ve made your career naked and humping, now can you? Let’s elect our first PORN STAR PRESIDENT!


AndiScribe Nominates… Angela White!

I wish Angela White could be president, but I know of a few reasons why she wouldn’t get elected. I’d say the first major issue is she is Australian, and we have a clause in the Constitution stating that you have be a natural-born citizen so that we avoid foreign influence. While this may be a good idea most of the time, I would love for Angela to bring some of her Australian joie de vivre to the presidency and be able to affect a more liberal stance on porn and sex in general. She did run for office for the Australian Sex Party in 2010. I know we all think one thing when we hear “sex party,” (I hear MILF swinger parties) but this party is a branch of government working for the protection of citizen’s sexual freedoms and rights. Besides her being really smart and into helping people educate themselves on their rights, she is smoking hot and makes really great videos. I love Angela Loves Women and all her scenes in Angela are a ton of first on-screen experiences. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a president that is honest about their sexuality and wants to help you express yours freely without guilt and shame? I think she has a good chance for the presidency as soon as we get used to the idea that a woman can be smart AND love a good DP.

Asian BadBoy Nominates… Nick Manning!

The 2016 election is an absolute shit show. Honestly, we need a real, 3rd party candidate to emerge. So how about the immortal Nick Manning?

A – Manning is a charismatic and confident leader. Follow this guy on Twitter and you can see he has no problem speaking his mind and dropping truth bombs. The people may not like everything Manning has to say, but he’d be honest and unafraid to voice his opinion and stand by it.

B – He has his own catch phrase. Manning probably owns the most famous catch phrase in all of porn (Dropping Looooaaadddsss!!!), and it totally kicks the shit out of Trump’s “You’re Fired” catch phrase.

C – He’s a beast in the gym and is straight up jacked. Manning is already in possession of a sound mind, but his physical body is also in peak, tip-top condition. I’m of the opinion that current world leaders look weak and old. We could use an intimidating presence in the white house. A vote for Nick Manning would be a vote for a strong leader who looks like he could also kick your ass.

Let’s make this happen, people!
Droppin Vooooottttttteeeeesssss!

Victor Vaselino Nominates… Nina Hartley!

What does a president need to be successful? Experience, poise, and a good head on their shoulders. Who fits that description more aptly than the great Nina Hartley!

She made her debut over 30 years ago in 1984’s Educating Nina and hasn’t slowed down since! In addition to mainstream appearances in films like Boogie Nights, her outspoken brand of feminism brands her as an important voice and figurehead in the porn community at large. With a brain and a body like this, this is one candidate that we’d be happy to hear exclaim, “Grab ‘Em By The Pussy!”

Judy Hologram Nominates… Small Hands!

My vote goes to Small Hands, because if we’re going to have a short fingered vulgarian as a candidate, he might as well have the cock and balls to make up for it.

Authentic Lesbian Nominates… Carl Hubay!

Carl Hubay should be president of the United States of America. Fucking anybody up for the task makes me think Carl doesn’t have a biased bone in his body. Transsexuals could use whatever bathroom they deem fit, gays and lesbians could get married no questions asked, and swinger parties would be on a dramatic rise, which can only be a good thing. Not to mention the advertising he’d throw major cruise line companies which can only boost the economy and create jobs. I can see him now meeting with Putin over the Syrian crisis and charming his way to another ceasefire before attending the annual Russian gang bang get together. Not to mention the guy looks amazing in a tux!

Explicit Bridget Nominates… Darla Crane!

I would elect Darla Crane, not just because we’re both rather liberal ladies, but because she seems like she’s pretty well-versed on politics and feminism. Plus, having a big-titted MILF president is the kind of America I want to live in.

THE NOMINATIONS ARE IN! If you’re unhappy with your choices on election day, why not write in on of our porn candidates?! It’ll be fun, you’ll be making a real difference! C’mon! We can start a whole new Porn-litical Party! Who’s up for a 3rd party candidate?

Compiled by Victor Vaselino. Follow him on Twitter! Or don’t! THAT’S HOW DEMOCRACY WORKS!