The Fucking Dead: Our Dream Walking Dead Porn Parody Casting

Our favorite zombie apocalypse show is back again for its 8th season, and if you’re a porn fan and a Walking Dead fan, the idea of a porn parody has probably crossed your mind at some point. Porn based on the survivors of a zombie apocalypse is parody gold – and it’s been done before. We loved Burning Angel’s The Walking Dead – A Hardcore Parody and it definitely provided great inspiration for this spooky porn-casting – just in time for Halloween!

Ryan Driller as Rick Grimes


Ryan Driller is our pick to play the gritty and hardened Rick Grimes. Tall, dark, and handsome, Driller’s got the looks and the charisma to get the job done. All he needs to do is all act all tortured and yell out “Caaaarrrrllll” a lot.

Kira Noir as Michonne


Sometimes the most obvious choice is the best one. Kira is a badass and would have no problem playing the sweet, sword-wielding Michonne. And honestly, I could totally see Kira armed with a katana and choppin’ some zombies up!

Keni Styles as Glenn Ree


Glenn was a beloved character and a definite fan favorite – until he was introduced to Lucille and Negan. Anyways, we’d get Kenny Styles to play Glenn, and not just because he’s Asian – but he is Asian, so that totally helps.

Adriana Chechik as Maggie Green


Adriana’s got a great presence to her. And that’s exactly what you want with a strong character like Maggie. Also, these two beauties have similar eyes and a similar look to them.

Mr. Pete as Darrell


I don’t think Mr. Pete is from the South, but he definitely looks like he could be! Darryl Dixon is one of our favorites and something about Mr. Pete just screams Darryl Dixon. He’s got the look!

Charles Dera as Negan


Recently, Dera has been rocking a powerful mustache and we couldn’t help but notice his resemblance to the sociopathic Negan. Think of Dera as a better-looking version of Negan.

Tyler Nixon as Carl


We love Tyler Nixon, but even we can admit he’s got a somewhat youthful look. Luckily, we are in need of a guy to play young Carl! Just slap an eye patch and a cowboy hat on Tyler and we’ve got something.

India Summer as Lori Grimes


Sure, Lori’s been dead since season three, but her presence still looms pretty heavily on Rick and Carl. We’d cast the sensational India Summer as Lori. She’s definitely got the goods!

Jodi Taylor as Carol Peletier


I’d put my money on Carol for being the most badass character on the entire show. So, we needed to find a XXX performer equally as badass (and who looks good with short hair).

Chris Cock as Morgan Jones


We like Chris Cock as the wise-but-haunted Morgan Jones. Morgan’s weapon of choice is his trusty staff – and coincidentally, Chris Cock is known for his impressive staff too!

Eric John as Eugene Porter


I can’t think of anyone better to play the goofy, eccentric, and intelligent Eugene. Just picture Eric John with a mullet wig and trench coat… BAM! Instant Eugene!

Dick Chibbles as Abraham Ford


This is one pairing that really, really works. Aside from the obvious physical similarities, Chibbles can definitely act, so playing the rough and gruff Abraham wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for him.

Veronica Rodriguez as Rosita Espinosa


Feisty, brave, and badass would be a good way to describe the character of Rosita… or the squirt queen, Veronica Rodriguez! We’re huge V-Rod fans here and we were determined to find a role for her! This pick almost makes too much sense!

Honey Gold as Sasha Williams


Honey Gold is one of the fastest-rising starlets in the game today. Take one look at her and it ain’t hard to see why! The pragmatic and intelligent Sasha would be a good role for the young superstar.

Brian Pumper as Tyreese Williams


I’ve always thought of Tyreese as a big teddy bear-type. He’s strong, compassionate, and protective – just like B. Pump! The only difference is Pumper is a way better rapper.

Elsa Jean as Beth Greene


Maggie’s younger, half-sister would be well represented by Elsa Jean. Elsa’s definitely got the cute, innocent look down pat.

Dana DeArmond as Jadis


Jadis is the leader of the funny talkin’ garbage people. Dana’s a pretty darn good actress and we imagine she’d have fun with this role!

Xander Corvus as Jesus


Maybe it’s the eyes, but I immediately thought of Xander for the role of Jesus. Just ask yourself, what would Jesus do?

Dredd as King Ezekiel


The leader of the “Kingdom” community is known for his theatrics, but he’s also charismatic and wise. I don’t know about you, but that sounds an awful lot like Dredd to me!


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