10 Porn Movies I Like To Watch When I'm High

When me and Mary Jane hook up you can count on two things: 1. I’m going to laugh at just about everything and 2. I’m going to overthink just about everything and then convince myself that I’ve figured it all out. That makes watching porn one of my favorite things to do while blowing one in the air, especially on 4/20! It might seem strange at first, but think about it, there’s no shortage of shit to laugh at in the adult entertainment biz, and who doesn’t think sex can save the world when they’re high!? It even works in cyphers. You may get a judgy look at first, but once the group mojo gets going it all makes sense.

Alice In Wonderland

Bill Osco‘s Alice In Wonderland is an oldie but goodie from 1976 that you MUST experience high at least once! We already know the story is trippy as fuck, but you have no idea how magical naked, singing porn stars are. The acting really does the script justice, the production is great for its time, the costumes and makeup are phenomenal, and it’s hilarious! All of that equals one of the best high-time pornos of all time.

Shadow Army

Rick Masters is guaranteed to produce more than a few WTF moments, and within the first 10 minutes of Shadow Army, you’ll see an invisible entity with some serious force giving Candle Boxxx‘s body all that it can handle, plus some. This shit probably won’t make you horny, but you’ll be beyond entertained and intrigued, and perhaps slightly disturbed. If you have any government conspiracy theory-obsessed friends, get them high and watch them watch this movie. You will thank me!

Becoming Elsa – A Coming of Age Story

This one was a shock to me. For weeks my brilliant co-worker Stoney Rubble has been telling me to check this out, so with a little ganja in tow I decided the 4/20 weekend would be the perfect time (although if I’m being honest every weekend is 4/20 for me). Sweetheart Video rarely lets me down, but I wasn’t expecting to like this as much as I did. It’s a lesbian coming-of-age story (see, predictable right!?) starring Elsa Jean, and featuring big names like Ana Foxxx, Cherie DeVille, and India Summer. With a cast like that you already know you’re about to be horny as fuck, but watch how you stayed glued to the screen and into the story.

Tight Spot

Anything Troma Entertainment makes is a great high-times choice, provided busting a nut isn’t priority number one. That doesn’t mean you won’t get aroused, just that you might be confused when it happens. Whatever, we’re high, don’t think too much into it. Enter Tight Spot, the tale of a man told a dangerous secret by another man, who happens to be dying. The first man then takes it upon himself to confront some other person who has something to do with the secret, and along the way he bangs some chicks. Sounds exactly like the script I wrote in college… while I was high.

Anal Insights

Mike Adriano is always good for some trippy graffiti art on set, and the fact that he shoots POV adds to the effect. Recently Mary Jane and I have been stuck on Anal Insights, trying to figure out the damn umbrella that’s in every scene. After a while I actually made myself dizzy, but 3 tokes later I was fine. The set colors are bright and vibrant as usual with devil horns making an appearance along with cupcake pillows and a smiling dolphin on the wall. You never know what Mike is gonna throw your way, but be careful, the art starts to come to life if you got the good shit like I do. I swear that dolphin winked at me.

Fornicating Aliens

Fornicating Aliens is an Alpha France plot-based movie from 1978. The whole damn thing is in French, so I have no clue what they’re saying, but this shit is great and must be watched with at least 2 doobies on deck! Right away there’s a chick laying dead in a casket, freaky sex, a bunch of aliens in the woods watching, and a man-on-man staredown with only one man wearing clothes. There’s also lots of alien seduction which is incredibly fun when you have all that psychoactive THC running loose through your brain. My favorite thing to do is make up my own plot as they go along, and because this is porn it makes for a great group game! Sounds a little strange, I know, but something about ganja and horny undead aliens brings people together and I refuse to get in the way.

Hard BreXXXit

As a society of porn consumers we HAVE to stop sleeping on Television X, man. They put a lot of thought into the themes of their movies and Hard Brexxxit is my favorite right now. Like most responsible adults, I like to stay on top of global politics (you never know when a nuke might launch these days), and to avoid the extreme depression that usually follows, I keep reefer with me while doing so. Instead of heading over to the fake news channels though, I turn to porn, and let me tell you it is soooooo much easier to digest! In this one, Teaser Maynot is using her feminine charm to lead the hard exit just voted on. She’s on a mission to strengthen the bond between her and Tronald Dump, while Gladimhere Putitin, leader of Russia, can’t keep his pants on during his visit with first lady Mania Dump. I bet FOX and CNN left that part out!

Fart Fart Fart!!!

Brat Perversions struck gold with this one, and it all revolves around facial expressions and reactions to having someone fart directly in your face. Imagine two beautiful young women sticking their faces up each other’s asses and inhaling the stinky natural gas being forced into their lungs. Now imagine being turned on and you don’t know why, but you’re judging the fuck out of yourself until you notice Lilly Hall turn with the most disgusted look you’ve ever seen on a porn star and you crack the hell up. I’m telling you, this title was made for high times!

Lesbian Legal Part 13

By now we know what to expect when it comes to a Girlfriends Films title, and even though I’ve seen so many of them that they sometimes blend together, Lesbian Legal Part 13 still have me sitting on the edge of my bed. The nerve of these bitches just making and breaking laws is crazy! You got lawyers blackmailing other lawyers and their clients for sex, partners sleeping with each other at the firm, backstabbing and two-timing, I mean it’s just like watching cable! I was so stoned actually that I forgot I wasn’t watching TV. Then Jade Nile‘s titty popped out and I was back, with a high thought I just couldn’t shake. What if Girlfriends started a reality TV series following their stars around, creating drama, and fucking their way out of it!? Fucking brilliant! Bob Marley’s inspiration strikes again.

Predatory Photographer: Futa

Missa X flicks usually leave me on some Donnie Darko, connect-the-dots type shit, which makes it a great 4/20-everyday-because-I-smoke-every-day studio to check out. In Predatory Photographer: Futa, Adria Rae desperately wants to model for Lyra Law. She sends in some photos and gets the part, only to show up and notice there’s no lighting crew or lights for that matter. As the stress continues to build, her body produces a high level of testosterone to help her cope, and as a result she grows a dick. So now she has two problems: 1 the photographer is a moody bitch with more than taking pictures on her mind, and 2. she has this huge throbbing cock that needs immediate relief. There are so many things to wrap your stoned brain around in this one. For one thing, here we go again with creepy photographers, but this one is a woman! GASP Women taking advantage of other women and invading their bodies and personal space!? In what world!? There’s also the stressed-induced penis that can symbolize almost anything you can think of. And I can’t forget the way the tables turn after the dick grows with Adria being more aggressive. What are we being told here? Are penises responsible for aggressive behavior? Are all photographers creepy assholes? How high can stress levels climb and can it cause me to grow a penis? Am I limited to growing a penis or can I get bigger boobs if I want them? I feel throbbing, oh god, should I call my doctor!? I’m too high for this but I’m loving every minute.

Well, fellow pot-consumers, that’s all I got for now. Time to roll another one, sit back, watch some paid-for porn, and see where the ride takes me. I HIGHly suggest you do the same!

For more updates follow me on Twitter @authenticlezz1 and all of us @HotMovies!