15 Odd Objects Used to Masturbate in Porn

When the mood strikes and you’re feeling especially susceptible, sometimes the urge to masturbate is pretty much compulsive. But what if your trusty sex toy or some wanking material isn’t available? You HAVE to get off… any way, anyhow. It’s consuming you and making concentration on anything else almost impossible. If you’ve ever fallen into this horny predicament, you might look around in desperation for whatever object closest to you that could be stuffed into your hungry orifices, or turned into a makeshift masturbation sleeve to be fucked into oblivion.

For #MasturbationMay, my perverted compatriots, I’ve compiled a list of scenes off our site where these desperately turned-on women will use just about anything available to bring them to orgasm… trees, clothing irons, knives: you name it! Check out these examples of masturbatory ingenuity below!

1. Tree

Autostopp Teens – Scene 4

In this lovely scene from German amateur studio Heart Core, a mullet-adorned woman and her lascivious lover celebrate Arbor Day in a really unique way. After spending a good portion of their day fucking in some random field, the man leads his woman home to show her the new eco-friendly, homemade sex toy he’s made her… a houseplant with a vaguely phallic trunk! Most women would find a nice place to put a pretty houseplant their man gifted them, maybe water or trim it – not this chick! Nope, she immediately starts sucking on the tree’s trunk before riding it like a Sybian with splinters.

2. Cereal Spoon

Jesse Jane: All-American Girl – Scene 3

This surreal scene from Digital Playground is all erotic closeups and tantalizing details. Celeste Star finds herself home alone and horny early one day and sees an opportunity to pleasure herself as she’s eating her morning cereal. First, she pops out her already-erect nipples, tweaking them slightly before moving her hand down to her exposed panties. She’s so aroused that she can’t help but slip her cold, wet, milky spoon into her panties to rub along her clit. A finger would’ve worked just as well, but that’s not as fun, is it?

3. Stick Shift

Girly Dreams #3110 – Scene 3

This unknown amateur pulls over in her car for an explicit rendezvous; she’s simply gotten too horny to drive. Unfortunately, out here in the country there isn’t a dildo or vibrator for miles, and this young lady is just going to have to improvise. Not to worry, she has a condom handy and thankfully doesn’t drive automatic… so she and her car consummate their vehicle-driver relationship once and for all!

4. Stiletto Heel

Asa Goes To Hell – Scene 1

The beautiful Asa Akira descends into hell in this 2016 release from Wicked Pictures. In the first scene, Asa walks through an eerie, industrial location ringing with the haunting moans of strange voices. Turning a corner, Asa witnesses a couple making out and groping each other in a hallway, and she can’t help but feel uncontrollably turned-on at the sight. Unable to take any more, she slips off one of her Steve Madden heels as she begins to touch herself. It isn’t too long before Asa uses the shoe’s (dirty) heel to penetrate herself furiously while playing with her clit.

5. Statue Bust

Ravaged – Scene 1

In the first scene of 1990s classic, Ravaged, Racquel Darrian has a phone conversation that gets her a little hot and bothered. Racquel desperately needs someone to go down on her to relieve her pent-up sexual frustrations, but she’s all alone… with the exception of a very inanimate statue bust on the table. Racquel grabs that thing and rides its face into the sunset anyway, and surprisingly, the statue makes her cum!

6. Clothing Iron

Amateurs All Steamed Up – Entire Movie

The women of Amateurs Steamed Up have an interesting way of getting the wrinkles out… but I’ll bet nobody else has this much fun on laundry day! They’re just taking advantage of some alone time. Gotta strike while the iron’s hot, ya know?

7. Faucet Tap

Just U & Me – Scene 2

We’ve all been there… masturbating in your garage and your hands-only method just isn’t cutting it. What ever is a girl to do? If you’re aroused enough, you’re just going to have to improvise! Checking her surroundings, the lovely Kerry Louise looks for the closest semi-phallic object she can use to pleasure herself with. A shelf in the garage has various hardware laying about, and Kerry chooses a nice, girthy sink faucet to fill herself up with! Ramming it in and out so quickly, you’ll have to wait and watch to see if she springs a leak!

8. Trumpet

Profondamente Troia – Scene 2

This hot little Italian amateur has a lot more than a load to blow… just check out the size of that trumpet! Using the mouthpiece to tickle her clit, this fit blonde manages to put on quite a solo performance despite never having played trumpet before.

9. Rolling Pin

Wet Bitches – White Line Vol.14 – Scene 1

What would we do without German amateur porn?! Such weirdness, such whimsy… you’ll never catch a German performer – amateur or otherwise – being self-conscious about their sexuality. This “wet bitch” (that’s the title of the movie!) Olivia makes good use of her rolling pin even after she’s done baking.

10. Scissors

Bilola Video #08 – Scene 2

You’re not supposed to run with scissors, but nobody said you couldn’t stick them up your ass! This wacky three-scene romp from Bilola Video showcases a young, all-natural blonde hottie doing pretty creative things with her body. If you were concerned about her placement of sharp implements, not to worry; they’re safety scissors!

11. Action Figure

Odd Penetrations 1 – Scene 1

Heather Silk titled this movie pretty appropriately, considering she does nothing but fuck cucumbers, a broomstick, and a certain human-spider superhero action figure in Odd Penetrations 1. Watch Heather’s reactions to getting fisted by this plastic toy and you’ll see her cumming to her “spidey senses.” This certainly wasn’t in the comics.

12. Telephone

Jana’s Intimate J/O Experience – Scene 4

Phone sex is hot, sure; everyone loves a little dirty talk. But have you ever had dirty talk that was so out-of-control raunchy that you couldn’t help but fuck the actual phone? Yeah, that’s some next-level shit. Jana Cova experiences this overwhelming sensation in Jana’s Intimate J/O Experience, and she makes ‘cumming over the phone’ more visceral than your average hot-talk session.

13. Pool Cue

Teenage Cleavage

Shooting for a different type of corner-pocket, Lucy Lux of Teenage Cleavage proves that pool really can be a one-person game!

14. Cigar

Fire In The Hole – Scene 2 cigar

As if almost taken from the Bill Clinton playbook, Fire In The Hole is a smoking fetishist’s dream. This brunette MILF is enjoying an afternoon stogie when the mood strikes, and she decides to suck on her cigar through an entirely different set of lips. You’ll have to watch this to believe it, but the answer is yes: her pussy can, in fact, inhale.

15. Knife

Got My Toy, Who Needs A Boy? 2 – Scene 2

Last but not least, this is by far my favorite example of an odd object insertion in porn. Our streaky-haired amateur, Brooke, finds herself home alone and horny in the kitchen one afternoon. Brooke figures, why not take this opportunity to jump on the counter and masturbate? Maybe not the most sanitation-conscious choice, but sounds fun! After playing with her pussy in the sink for awhile, Brooke takes a fucking steak knife and (handle-side first) begins fucking herself with it. If you think you’re tough, try penetrating yourself with a knife…

(Actually, please don’t. Matter of fact, don’t try ANY OF THIS stuff at home.)

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