As soon as I heard about Bonding on Netflix, I knew I was going to hate it. I’m an open-minded person, but it’s hard to be open when someone is using the sex-work community to profit without even hiring any actual sex workers as consultants. The show creator, Rightor Doyle, says the show is based on his time working as a bodyguard for a Dominatrix. Being sex-work adjacent doesn’t make you a sex worker, so that piece of information doesn’t make me feel better about the many inaccuracies of the show. It pains me to watch something about a topic as dynamic and interesting as sex work turned into a bland, boring, watered-down show written by a man who has never been an actual sex worker. Who thought this was a good idea?! Obviously, I have no idea what the writer was paid for this show, but whatever it was, he was overpaid. Even if he was paid $5, he was overpaid. If vanilla pudding was a show, it would be Bonding on Netflix. I actually like some campy, trashy, bad TV purely for entertainment purposes, but this wasn’t even enjoyable on an ironic level. The storyline is lame, the characters are not compelling or super believable, it’s not funny even though it tries to be: there’s really nothing to like about this show from the perspective of a sex worker. Who is the audience for this, I can’t help but wonder? It’s unfortunate that some people who are not well-versed in sex work will see this show and think it’s fully representative of the lifestyle. It disappointed me on every level, every episode more painful (pun intended) than the last.
Just from the preview of the show, I knew I was really in for it. The opening scene has the main male character going to a password-protected dungeon, but he can’t remember the password so he just name-drops a Domme. Ah, yes, because it would be that simple in real life! Who cares about any safety measures? We’re literally a minute and 16 seconds into the show and there’s the implication that a client abused his Domme. “Never lay your hands on a Mistress,” a bodyguard tells the bad client. Yes, just what we need one minute into the show: the idea of abusive clients. (Not that there aren’t ever abusive clients, of course there are, but really, did that need to happen SO SOON into the show? Really gives you an idea of how bad this is going to be.) At least the guy playing the bodyguard in this scene is someone who could actually be a bodyguard in real life. The male main character is also supposed to be a bodyguard, and let’s just say that is less-than-believable considering his body size/demeanor. Not trying to body-shame, just being realistic! Who is he going to protect? I basically hate this character from the moment he asks her for 50% of her earnings. Yuck. Nothing turns me off more than a man who wants to profit from a woman’s sexual labor.
Of the show, FinDomme/fetish performer Allie Eve Knox says,
“It was a shame, because they had a great outlet to talk about things like consent or safe play, and they squandered it with some bullshit.”
One of the most absurd parts is when Mistress May comes into class in full Domme ensemble. Look, I was out as a sex worker when I was in college. I even had to talk about it in front of my classmates in a certain class. I did not feel the need to wear a full-porno look to do that. In fact, I always went out of my way to dress modestly in an effort to be taken more seriously. I don’t necessarily think my way is the right way, or that everyone has to be like me in that regard, but I don’t think someone going to class ready to crack the whip is very realistic.
“You don’t just put on plastic clothing and buy a whip, and boom: you are instantly a Domme. That kind of shit is ridiculous. To me, it felt like they were making fun of ‘Domme attire’ as some sort of costume that all Dommes wear while working in their seedy dirty, poorly lit dungeon. The easiest way to relate it is I felt like it was a Domme-theme carnival ride where they googled the word ‘Domme’ and the set designer went to Party City and bought shiny things to make it look like the photos she googled. There was no authenticity.”
Possibly one of the worst parts of the entire show (and that’s saying a lot) is during the last episode when they decide to bring the crazy, violent client back and make him even crazier and more violent. Wonderful. Glad we could end with Mistress May being threatened with a butcher knife and then stabbing the guy.
Allie Eve Knox says,
“I found the stabbing the dude at the end part really shitty because it just made her look like the angry sex worker living in this violent world. That’s the part that bothered me a ton. We are sometimes angry, and there are sometime violent situations, but both of those things are not the norm.”
I agree with Allie’s sentiment. Yes, obviously there are bad/dangerous clients (another reason to support Decrim to keep us safer!), but to use a platform as large as the one Netflix has to put out ridiculous narratives about sex work – all while trying to say you’re an ally – is insulting and damaging to the community you claim to care for.
Everything about the show is a disaster from beginning to end, and not in a fun way; not in a way that works. If it comes back for a second season, which I sincerely hope it does not, they need to do a major revamp of the writing staff… and hire some goddamn sex workers as consultants so you don’t put out a garbage product that completely misrepresents the people you’re speaking for/profiting off of.
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