For my first HotMovies porn-reviewing feature, I thought I would go ahead and jump blindly into the deep end and tackle a modern day “lesbian porn” scene. Does “girl/girl” porn make any more sense now than we thought it did in 1989? If it has improved, a Bree Mills feature would have to be a good meter for health considering a few things: her dedication to cinema (a trait she shares with many old-school pornographers), her own sexual identity (she’s a lesbian!), and her commitment to good representation in her films.
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Girlcore Season 2, Volume 2 |
Where The Boys Aren’t |
| Clip #2: “Somebody’s Watching Me” | Clip #2: “Living Room Lesbian Threesome” | Studio: Adult Time | Studio: Vivid Entertainment |
| Starring: Alina Lopez & Gia Paige | Starring: April West, Barbara Dare & Tori Welles |
| Director: Bree Mills | Director: Judy Blue |
| Runtime: 44 mins 33 secs | Runtime: 22 mins 29 secs |
| Released: 2020 | Released: 1989 |
“Somebody’s Watching Me” is a full-blown 44-minute narrative, which automatically seems like more effort than an 80s studio would put into something with no cis men. (This point comes into play later, when Judy Blue addresses this exact issue in her film!)
Here’s the story Bree Mills presents to us in perfectly lit, suspensefully edited, multi-angle takes: Alina Lopez fakes sick to stay home from school and play hookie. Girlsway is obsessed with pulpy 80s teen movies, so of course this scene mixes elements of rom-com, slapstick, and horror into a cinematic intro, and throughout the movie. I know from trailers that Adult Time has excellent filmmaking standards; this is better work than most TV shows—especially when the girls start making out and you realize—this is the way I wish all those movies ended. Why COULDN’T the killer be a hot babe who’s trying to unpossess herself of demons inside your cunt?
Bree Mills delivers that kind of nostalgic fantasy to queer audiences in a bubbly Hollywood package that mainstream audiences also completely eat up in the same way everyone my age seemed to absorb Stranger Things like a sponge. (I still don’t get it, you guys.)
Anyways, the storyline seemed really important, but the reason I picked this episode is because of how good the sex looks. Gia Paige enters the scene already amped up due to being chased by some kind of demon, and in order to keep it away she has to fuck. Sometimes trying to keep track of a storyline during porn is difficult, but the heavy breathing of fear syncs well with the heavy breathing of passionate, queer femme-approved lesbian sex, of which I can almost barely speak of it’s so good. I can’t spoil that for you.
I decided to click next on Where the Boys Aren’t by Judy Blue/Vivid, a result in HotMovies 1989 category. The scene I chose starts with an angry porn director who doesn’t like girl/girl. He wants to do a “normal dirty movie,” but none of the available male talent is available or acceptable to the women and crew.
“No fag jokes,” he says to one of the porn stars insisting that SHE take on the role of a guy along with another star if anything is going to get shot that day (I thought I would note the surprisingly blase’ gay acceptance). The ultra-femme performer (April West) can’t act like Alina Lopez or Gia Paige, but if you’ve seen Desperately Seeking Susan, you’ve seen this girl . She’s the real deal, covered in Aqua Net and fake pearls. To be clear, this was my kind of girl when I was coming up as a tiny gay tot. It may surprise straight people to know how much regular-ass femininity exists in the lesbian and lesbian-adjacent community.
Cut to the porn couch where the cast is going over lines, and April West is assigned the duty of acting like the pushy male forcing his desire onto another. The directors hovering above the “rehearsal” are discussing how the scene is supposed to be a non-consensual fantasy, which I mention because again, the two men involved seem well-educated about cinematic consensual nonconsent. But the violent script, while attempted/accepted, really doesn’t matter… the women cant stop kissing each other. They begin pleasuring each other’s pussies and nipples, and all of it right there on the couch while the directors panic over what to do, plane yellowish lights giving the not-a-scene-yet scene extra believability.
The prescribed gender-switching at the beginning of the scene was absolutely not what I was expecting when I sought out an 80s lesbian-porn counterpart for this essay. 80s porn has such a horrible reputation for being too fake. This film is definitely femme, but the energy is powerful and takes up the room. Pointed toes and french manicures don’t seem to interrupt the idea that these porn stars got turned on by gender play and are now fucking on the work couch while their bosses panic over how to start the scene—the one that is nearly finished on the floor below them. THIS scene surprised me, as it revolved around feigning masculinity and fetishizing boy play, or I guess what you might call “gender fucking.”
Of the two, Somebody’s Watching Me looks more like what I would expect to be a “queer porn”: for one, the orgasms in the contemporary films are filmed with an HD camera by artists who like to see the sweat and moisture of human bodies, whereas this Vivid picture relies on heavy blush and powder to make everything feel a little too clean. Bree’s film has heavy breathing and freaking out, Judy Blue’s ends in a lusty triangular sex-toy party. Both are rooted in fantasy storytelling but present some “realistic” looking queer-femme sex.
Both have face sitting: can’t complain!
This was my first column for Hot Movies, and I’d like to share a few words. Everyone deserves a little fun, free time, and frivolity in their lives. In an era of hard work and hustling, porn provides another possibility—one that brings us hope, one that inspires personal growth and change, and one that brings us closer to our fellow humans through the universal language of sex. For these reasons, we must respect the craft, we must protect the medium, and we must continue creating the kind of porn we want to see in the world. I will be alerting you to new scenes, old films, queer performers of all genders, kinks you may not have heard of, and most certainly along this process a few, if not MANY, terms you may not be familiar with. (Yet.) Sexuality is something that matures inside us; a journey. I hope these discoveries are something we can share together in love and kindness. See something you don’t think is cool? Feel free to let me know and I’ll revisit. Love what you’ve read? Please let us (myself, and HotMovies!) know and suggest column improvements anyhow. Let’s start a community around porn, what it looks like, what it means, and how it gets us all riled up!
XOXO,
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