The foundation of DDLG relationships are based off of two consenting adults that have a power-play dynamic in which one partner is the caretaker (Daddy), and one partner engages in regression/age-play. “Daddy” does not have to be a cisgender man, and the “little” does not have to identify as a female in any way. This is just the common term; other terms include “Mommy,” “little boy,” and just “little.” Age-play or regression is when an adult finds this happy “little space” in themselves that feels authentically themselves as a youth. This mental age brings them to a state of “little” behaviors and can manifest in a variety of ways. DDLG relationships also do not need to be sexual, but can be.
DDLG = Daddy Dom(me) / “little girl”
Little Space
Age-play can be expressed in any different mental age-range. Adults mentally revert to ages between “diapered” to “bratty-teen.” When an adult goes into this state of consciousness, it is known as “little space.” Little space can involve the use of props like youthful clothing, diapers, binkies, tutus, stuffed animals, coloring books (etc… this list can go on forever), but doesn’t always have to. Little space is a state of mind and can happen at any time for people that experience this; some adults feel little all the time! Most of us (littles) have specific people we feel comfortable expressing their “smol” side with, but some littles are little without a partner and that is beautiful.
Little space is a safe space when indulged in alone or with a loving partner. It is a physical and mental space that one feels protected in and can be an outlet to let go of the stress that life carries. One can let go of the need to be perfect, the need for control. Day-to-day stimuli melt away into a beautiful colorful arena of our own minds and play.
Scenes
BDSM scenes between DDLG relationships can be vastly different between each relationship. As aforementioned, little-space play can have accessories. These scenes can be anything from Daddy making dinner while the little colors in their books and drinks chocolate milk from a sippy-cup, to things a lot more deviant… These scenes are safe environments for the little to revert to their young, impressionable state and express themselves to their comfort level.
My DDLG/Switch Relationship
Now that we’ve brushed over the basics of DDLG, I will indulge you in the details of my relationship. I am a 23 year-old non-binary switch. This means I don’t identify with one gender or power-dynamic; I am a fluid human. I have the honor of being Daddy when I am dominant in my personal relationship, and when I am submissive or little with my Daddy, I can revel in being crowned kitten, princess, good girl/good boy, little boy/little girl, smol fuzz. My Daddy is my fiancé, Lucky Fae. He is the only person on the planet I feel genuinely submissive to.
My age-regression generally feels four: I am curious, shy, excitable, reliant on my Daddy for guidance. Things that spur my reversion to a smol-space can be seeing Daddy smile, being around farm animals or baby animals, being sleepy, feeling shy, or the overall need to have a release from stress. In these times of being little, I can quite literally drop my walls and let my emotions shine. I’ve cried because Daddy took me to a farm-animal sanctuary and I was so happy to be around chickens in a loving environment. In that moment I felt overwhelmed by the joy of being around joyful animals and having my partner with me and I felt SMOL: big emotions, little person. I then went to see the pigs and other animals, stomped in puddles, probably whispered “Daaaaddyyyy” a plethora of times because we were out in public and I had to keep his honorific a secret!
Day-to-Day
Everyday, invariably, I wake up to kisses and a fresh coffee from Daddy. He’s a morning person, and I am not an early-bird. Daddy makes my transition from sleep to wake as gentle and easy as he can. This is immensely appreciated by the archetypical “Don’t talk to me until after my espresso” human I so deeply am. The reason this is important to our dynamic is because it sets the tone for consistency, keeps me functioning, and as my partner is a morning person, it allows him to do something that he knows will make me happy and start my morning off on a good foot. I particularly have hard mornings between nausea and overall low-energy levels, so it’s so helpful for me. Daddy always takes care of his little.
One of my favorite activities Daddy and I do together is either bathing together or drying me. We will wash each other in the shower, which promotes bonding and care for the other’s body. On days that I shower alone and shower together Daddy will always dry me off with a towel if I say “please!” He takes care to get my legs, ass, and will always gently, but firmly, grasp my pussy with the towel. It makes me feel small, safe, desired, and loved.
In the moments that I am in a particularly good mood, feeling small, or vulnerable, I will use a soft small voice. Adult littles have variations of these voices, they often sounds like cartoon characters or can be very lispy. I find them quite endearing. My little voice comes out effortlessly around Daddy and can be off-putting to people that don’t understand the dynamic. To clarify—this part is not inherently sexual—rather, it is sweet and comforting. To be accepted in this state and to make someone smile just for being silly and cheery is quite heartwarming. I compare little voices to the soft cooings cats will make to their kittens or to their owners to get attention. It’s gentle and makes any Daddy melt!
When I need a release, primarily during stressful times or after long days of work or decision-making, I will either get into a cozy little space or be a bit of a brat! I can admit it, when I am sleepy, I am grumpy. Daddy takes this in stride and will make the necessary decisions to take the weight off of my shoulders. Not having to make decisions is a crucial part of being little for me. I am constantly making decisions—as we all are—however, I have a habit of mulling over things for too long. Being able to give up the control to Daddy, the person who has my best interest at heart (even if it is not what I want but what I need), is therapeutic. It’s groundbreaking for my ego as he has the authority to check me on my behavior and praise me for doing good things. He can keep me in line and make decisions to keep me being my best self; it’s not all catering to the princess, sometimes Daddy has to give me “tough love.”
Disciplinary Measures
Discipline in a caretaker/little dynamic is crucial. Whether I am being entitled, or do little things like not putting away my clothes for the second week in a row: the behavior has to be dealt with. How this is done is through consensual, negotiated ways. Daddy prefers to correct me in little comments, serious conversations, or by letting me learn my own lesson. Sometimes he has to drag my ass out of bed to check out of a hotel, and if I am a brat, I feel bad enough from the sheer nature of hurting him and being difficult. If I am easier and more pleasant, he will always praise me. Reward the good behavior through positive reinforcement. We do not use physical play as punishment. If I get spanked, it is for fun! I’m a masochist and there would be no joy in making the taboo impact-play that I enjoy into something meant to deter me from an undesirable behavior.
When I have to correct Daddy, it can manifest in a variety of ways. When I am little, I get a stern-yet-small voice that will clearly command what needs to be fixed, or I ask kindly for an adjustment. Occasionally, I will opt out of little mode and can quite quickly assert myself as a stone-cold adult. This is how I have to have harder adult conversations, of course.
When We Switch
I display myself as a powerhouse switch in porn as a transparent look into my actual sexuality. I am a power bottom, a little, and a Daddy myself. This means that I am a fluid, multifaceted being. In my relationship, I am usually the default little and sexually submissive. Switching is the act of changing the power dynamics in a relationship. When my fiancé is feeling down, stressed, overwhelmed, or just playfully medium, I go into this wonderful and controlled headspace. My focus shifts to thoughts of how I can best help my partner and ease whatever it is he is going through. I am alert to his needs and desires and will do anything I need to in order to please him. I feel protective, controlled, and he knows that he is safe with me. I am honored to guide him when he needs or wants it. Being a switch is truly sacred to me, for I get to experience both sides of the coin. I get guidance and can learn so much when I am small, and when I am big I feel like my best self.
Pleasures and Benefits of DDLG Dynamic
Through the experience of caring for each other, allowing, and encouraging each other to be authentic to ourselves, and exploring the dynamic of DDLG, my fiancé and I reap rewards that are unique to our partnership. However, I would comfortably state that littles with a safety, sanity, and consent-oriented caretaker can find a sense of acceptance, protection, trust, and joy that is special to DDLG. Daddy Dominants gain pride in their little by helping them learn patience. Being a Daddy provides a space to be revered by youthful wonder and can make someone feel secure in their decisions.
Littles encourage their partners to be strong in their actions, and to have confidence in what they do. Littles take care of Daddy just as much as Daddy takes care of them. Every so often a switch like me hits the jackpot and finds their perfect, fluid match that unfurls a relationship that encourages trust, honesty, and commitment; promotes character-building; and highlights mutual respect and tender love.
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Lola Fae is a 23 year-old non-binary adult performer, Dominatrix, and aerial artist. She is passionate about animal and sex worker rights. A certified yogi and reiki practitioner, she gets joy in finding mindfulness in everyday actions, as well as helping others be authentic to their true nature. Her favorite scene on HotMovies can be found here. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram, and producers can book her for film and photography directly at: LolaFaeXOX@Gmail.com
Lucky Fae is a ceramics artist, exclusive Fae performer, and Lola’s Daddy. He has been a potter for 16 years and is currently based in Los Angeles, running a clay studio that offers custom pieces for a variety of audiences. Lucky films and edits all of Lola’s homemade movies and is her right-hand male talent. His ceramic work can be found on Instagram. Follow his Twitter for a look into being Daddy and to see Lola in her little state!
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