No matter if it’s those who’ve only dreamt of turning their BDSM fantasies into a leather and latex-clad reality, or well-seasoned veterans of hundreds of festivals, parades, conventions, and, of course, thumpingly-hot parties; everyone with a kinky frame of mind has thought, “wouldn’t it be fantastic to have a dungeon of my very own?”
Well, depending on your living arrangements, you can. Not only that, but (surprise, surprise) it isn’t as complicated and/or expensive as you may think. You may even end up with a playspace as hot and stylish as a Kink.com set.
That’s not to say you can just rush out to the hardware store today and begin playing in your kinky home wonderland tomorrow. The reality is that while the nuts and bolts aren’t too challenging, there’s a long list of things you have to consider before you start screwing, nailing, pounding, and then…. well, screwing, nailing, and pounding to you and your play partner’s delight.
Constructive Thoughts Before Beginning Construction
Before anything else, clear your steamy mind of your kink dreams and instead, take a long, hard, and ice-water-logical look at where in your immediate surroundings you might try to build your playspace. Why you should do this should be pretty obvious, as while your imagination might perfectly envision your idealized setup, reality can seriously get in the way. Hate to say it, but Bubblegum Dungeon may be sexy as hell, but far from being a space you can recreate easily at home.
To get you on the right track, begin by thinking of what you want to do instead of just where you want to build it. Is your dungeon only for you and your partner, with maybe a guest now and again? Or do you want your new dungeon to be something you and your friends—or even the local BDSM community—may also use?
If your aim is for a small, very intimate circle, you only need to worry about the basics (that I’ll get into in a moment). But if you plan to be more open to how many times it’s used, and how many people can enjoy it, the rules completely change.
Beyond the legal headaches for both these scenarios, you also have to factor in your neighbors, as well as what kind of city you live in. People nearby complaining is one thing, but if your city isn’t exactly welcoming to the kink scene, then your dungeon could end up costing you everything. And I do mean everything—even if you aren’t convicted of whatever the authorities charge you with, then you still might lose your job, your kids, and even your house when you go bust paying to fight the charges.
So think, a lot, about what you want to do with your dungeon and where you want to build it. While it might be depressing to admit that going forward with it might not be the best idea, it’s far better to do that then to have the whole thing turn into a disaster.
Some Playspace Basics
Naturally, some houses, rooms, or spaces are going to be better than others when it comes to turning into a dungeon. Ideally, it should be big enough to be comfortable, well-insulated against noise, well-heated (or cooled), and be solidly constructed. Circling back to my mention of the basics, let’s look a bit at what they are and what you can do to handle them.
The first, dovetailing nicely with being careful about your space being detected by your local Gladys Kravitz (look it up), is soundproofing. A good test of this is to have someone scream as loud as they can, and I mean really belt it out, to test how far sound might travel from your dungeon, and then apply as much insulation or other soundproofing methods you can until you can’t hear them even when standing right outside.
If you don’t know a good screamer, then use a portable sound system and crank it up to 11 (also, look that up). It might be a bother, but so much better than getting an unexpected knock at the door. After all, one thing you never want an unexpected interruption while recreating A Dom’s Domme.
Onto heating and cooling: both should always be a serious consideration, as not having either can be a major determinant to comfortable as well as safe play. How you do this depends on your budget, but might include connecting your space to your home’s ventilation system or just using approved portable heating and cooling systems. In regards to the latter, never use a gas heater in an enclosed space—period.
When your dungeon’s done, it should be: completely soundproof, well-cooled on hot days, adequately heated on cold ones, as well as being structurally sound and completely safe for people to play in.
Let’s Play with a Potential Playspace
Hands-down a converted garage is the most common private dungeon out there. With that in mind, let’s do some imaginative roleplaying with what doing this kind of thing might involve.
The first drawback is insulation, for sound as well as temperature. This usually involves packing any exposed areas, especially the garage door itself—and I really suggest you replace with a true wall instead of trying to insulate an existing door—then cover every exposed/framed surface with drywall.
But don’t forget the floor: bare concrete might appear to be fine, but trust me after you’ve been standing (let alone playing on it) for more than a few minutes, your feet will seriously begin to ache. So add putting in a new floor to your list of things to do, and making play not just arousing, but also comfy.
Now some might put finding suitable hardpoints for suspension equipment high on this list. It’s important to note that you should never put any suspension hardware anywhere other than major beam—and never (ever) just into the ceiling drywall. Remember that you can always just buy or build stable equipment instead; it’s already been designed for this kind of play and can even be moved around.
You’ll also need to consider lighting, as well as the aforementioned heating/cooling. I know all this might sound intimidating, particularly if you’re not a well-qualified contractor, but never (ever) play it cheap, as saving a few bucks at the cost of someone being possibly injured is not a bargain.
Finding Construction Help
But what if you can’t tell a nail from a screw? Sure, you can take classes—or turn into that pesky person at your local hardware store—but no matter how many questions you bug them with or videos you watch, you’ll never be as good as a professional.
Along with being chock full of great (and hot) folx, the BDSM scene is frequently a treasure-trove of builders and contractors who’d no doubt love to give you a hand. I hate to say this, but even if you do find enthusiastic help, be sure and put quality of their work over friendship. It can be rough, but not doing so would be just as bad, and possibly disastrous, as doing it on your lonesome.
Don’t despair if you can’t find a scene-friendly contractor, as your area probably has more regular ones up to the task. Before you ask, no, you don’t have to tell them what exactly your space is going to be used for. Suggestions include a music studio—to explain the reason for the extra-soundproofing—or that you want a new office space.
Know and Respect Your Codes
This does raise another important point: if you do plan on opening your dungeon to the community, offer the use of it for money, or even making it available for friends to use, then educate yourself as much as you can about any and all legal ramifications for doing so. This is why paying for a contractor is especially good; they will be well-versed with building codes and possibly even the regulations around public spaces, even when they won’t actually be open to the general public.
Again, this can be tricky to navigate, which is why you should take your time: ask as many questions as you need, study what others have done, familiarize yourself with your legal standing, and be prepared at any time to put the whole project aside if the risks clearly outweigh the benefits.
A Brief Word on Equipment
And now we arrive at what a lot of you might have been waiting for: what kind of BDSM hardware should I put into my brand-spanking-new dungeon?
The answer is that no matter what fun equipment you want to have, as with the building of your playspace itself, don’t build it yourself unless you are an expert craftsperson. Rather, get your stuff from a respected and qualified BDSM equipment-maker, or bought from someone who already put it through its kinky-paces (great examples of which are on steamy display in videos like Mariska: Desires of Submission).
Pricy? Probably: but circling back one more time to keeping your mind focused on safety cheap will save you money but could cost you, and those using your dungeon, a lot more.
Your Space, Your Pleasure, Your Responsibility
Building your own playspace is a common fantasy, to be sure, and many out there are seriously considering doing just that, but in the midst of all this kink-daydreaming, it’s easy to forget that though it will be your playground, it is without exception also your responsibility.
In this way, constructing a dungeon can be seen as a brick-and-mortar, or wood-and-drywall, embodiment of what BDSM is and should always be: safe, in that making your space this must always be your top priority; sane, as in educating yourself thoroughly on the legal and social ramifications of your dungeon; and, of course, consensual—here meaning you’re not just building a playspace but through doing a good a job as possible you’re also respecting the kink community as a whole.
And there you go: though there’s a lot to process, money to be spent, reading and learning to be done, and sweat (and blood, can’t forget blood) that’ll go into it, but if you keep your eyes open and your mind sharp, someday you might be able to someday have a BDSM dreamland of your very own.
M. Christian is a highly regarded author (if he does say so himself) of kinky books and stories, informative non-fiction articles on sex and futurism, and—when he’s not writing—teaches BDSM classes with his pal, R. Greco Jr. Check him out at mchristian.com and be sure to tune the podcast he also does with Ralph: ‘Licking Non Vanilla.’
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