I’ve always been fascinated with the adult industry. Honestly, I always saw myself involved in it, starting with my desire to photograph porn stars in a mainstream way. I wanted to break the stigma of the industry. Then as I got older, I found my interest gravitating towards being more involved in… other ways. Growing up I never watched straight porn. I’m pansexual and lean more towards the queer community in my sexual preferences… but I still like men! I just seem to never have gotten off to the idea of a man fucking a woman. I guess it’s just too boring for me.
I’ve known that I wasn’t straight for as long as I can remember, but I didn’t “come out” until I was in my late teens. I think I loved lesbian porn so much because I’d never been with a woman, but fantasized it would be my ultimate form of pleasure… and let me tell you, I was SO right! Outside of a relationship, sex with other women had always given me the most pleasure. Men didn’t make me wet; women did. I guess you can say sexually I’m more attracted to women, and in regards to dating I have no preference. I date people who I feel treat me the best and love me the most, regardless of their gender. When I’m in love my pussy gets the wettest.
With all that being said, I joined the adult industry as soon as I turned 18. A few days after my birthday, I told my mom I was going to start sex work and that I didn’t want her to ever feel worried about me. I was going to be smart and safe. The reason I told my mom was because I didn’t want to be ruled by my fear of getting doxxed. I didn’t want anyone to have that power over me. After telling my mom, I decided there was no turning back. I made videos, did sexting sessions, and started my career on a small scale: all solo work, very vanilla. I eventually started growing my social media and really wanted to get into non-solo work. I started doing collabs with other sex workers for clips to sell, and was pretty content with that.
I had dreams of being mainstream during this time. I was very reluctant to get myself out there because I had dyed hair, tattoos, I’m very tall with a unique body shape, and had a hard limit of no boy/girl content. I was told I would never make it. At 18, all of my content was solo. At 19, I started making girl/girl trade clips, and finally at 20 I said, “Fuck it! I’m going to try to get into girl/girl mainstream.” At first I started out self-booking. I emailed and DM’d every company I could think of, telling them how badly I wanted to work with them. I tried to hunt down company emails and send in my photos whenever I could.
After endless failures, I finally got my first shoot with Kink.com’s channel Whipped Ass. My first scene was extremely intense—a dream come true. I’d never felt so confident in myself. After my first scene, I knew this was the career for me. After the scene came out I was hoping to get booked constantly, but that was not the case. I realized no matter how good a scene was, I only did lesbian porn and wasn’t a “conventional porn girl” looks-wise, so I was going to have to fight harder than most to get my bookings. Back I went to emailing and DMing everyone I could think of. As I was on the hunt for work, my girl/girl clip content was doing amazing. I started working with some fabulous mainstream performers and getting a ton of validation from my fellow sex workers, but none of that mattered, because I wasn’t on a lot of streaming sites and my name was still staying quiet.
Eventually I got another booking for Twistys. That was two mainstream bookings in a row! I was really proud of myself. Months later, I got booked to do a scene for Sweetheart Video’s Sorority Love and Lust with Abigail Mac. This shoot was a fucking dream come true. I’ve been a huge fan of Abigail since before I even got into the industry, so it was an honor to work with her. I had a blast on set. I felt honored that someone with bright pink hair, standing six feet tall with a ton of tattoos got to make it on a site like that. I truly hope to be back on set for them someday.
After the Sweetheart Video shoot, I decided I wanted to get an agent in hopes to get more bookings. Now this was another journey that sure was a wild ride. I applied to almost every agency and was told I would never make it, I wasn’t worth their time, and I would never be successful unless I did boy/girl. I was told I could be a star if I did boy/girl and that I was making a big mistake in my career for not wanting to do that type of content. I finally found an agency that would take me, and with all the hopes I had that this would be what pushed my career forward… nothing changed. I got one booking for the near six months I was with them. The scene I got was Girlfriends Films‘ Bad Lesbians 12. My mom actually drove me to set that day. I was super excited! I had wanted to work for Girlfriends Film since I started trying to get mainstream work, so I was stoked! There was so much script work and filming; I truly felt like an actress. Even though I hated having an agent, it was worth it to snag that booking. I met some amazing people on set and am hoping to be brought back sometime in the future.
Leaving the agency felt great. I dyed my hair natural brown because they told me I needed to in order to get bookings, which didn’t seem to make a difference, so I was super excited to go back to pink. In March I did my most recent scene to date—a Girlsway scene I booked immediately on my own after being agent-free. It truly felt like proof that I didn’t need an agent to get work.
Now fast-forward to today. There’s a full on pandemic going on and I won’t be returning to booking scenes until I feel it is safe. I’m now 21, with five mainstream scenes under my belt, four of which being self-booked. My story isn’t some crazy success story (yet); I’m still working on getting my foot in the door. Once things in the industry go back to normal I hope to really work my ass off to make a name for myself.
I want to explain my choice for being a girl/girl only performer.
Like I said in the beginning: I like men, I like women, I like everyone who falls in-between. I believe the best porn is the porn you’re truly passionate about. I never watched straight porn, never found an interest in it… why make content I wouldn’t even watch? I want to enjoy my time in this industry. I don’t want to feel exploited, nor regret anything I do. I find joy every time I go on set. If I was to do boy/girl it wouldn’t be the same. Maybe in the future I’ll do boy/girl with a partner. It would have to be with a man I’m dating, not even a guy I’d just be fucking. There would have to be true emotional chemistry for me to enjoy it. I have to make content I would watch or enjoy, and the only boy/girl content I would watch back to enjoy myself would be just that.
I love lesbian porn. I love being able to express my sexuality that I felt I needed to hide for so long, but I always get asked if I do lesbian porn because I have a jealous male partner. First off, I would never let a significant other dictate what I do. I would never date someone who didn’t accept me for who I am. Secondly, when I first got into sex work and made the girl/girl only rule, I was single. I’m not sure why everyone assumes I chose to do girl/girl-only because of a relationship, because that’s not the case. The people in my personal life all love and respect my choices.
During this pandemic I haven’t been working much, will be changing my hair back to pink, and trying to get into better shape so I can dominate the girl/girl category—on my terms—when this is over. I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon. I’m truly passionate about what I do, the sex I have, and the scenes I create. I won’t be giving up anytime soon, and I hope you will be seeing a lot more of me in the future. Five scenes deep and I still feel I’m fighting the same uphill battle with no changes, but now I have the strength to climb faster.
I have high hopes for my future in sex work, and regardless of what happens, I can confidently say I love everything I’ve been part of. That’s rare, and it’s why I’ve set the personal boundaries I have. Do what makes YOU happy in this industry despite what everyone else tells you. Enjoying your work is the greatest accomplishment. I’ve never felt I had support from the mainstream industry, yet I’ve proven there’s still a space for me. Give girls who don’t fit the “normal standard” a chance. Hire performers for lesbian films who aren’t just popular because they do straight porn. Give the girl/girl-only performers a chance to shine. Let’s change the industry.
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