Is there really a difference between a fetish and a kink, and who makes up all of these rules? The FemDom Led Relationship 3 features several kinky scenes featuring up-close encounters with some beautiful Femdoms, but does it get that kink right? The average person, horny as they may be, may not know that they are using certain kinky terms incorrectly. Do you really now what a Femdom is? Let’s take a look ten kinky terms that some of us get so wrong, colloquially or not…
1. (Fem)Dom
“My girl is so hellbent on me eating her pussy in bed. She’s such a Domme!” – Billy from the butcher’s shop.
A Femdom is not merely a woman advocating or prioritizing her own sexual pleasure. Short for female domination, a Femdom can come in a variety of forms, some more extreme than others, but it places the woman in the position of power over their submissive while engaging in BDSM and any other number of activities. This includes things as intense as pegging, or a stiletto to the balls, or using the sub for emotional gratification (and sometimes even financial support). A woman who demands that you eat her pussy is probably not trying to “Dom” you into submission. She wants an orgasm too! Jesus Christ.
2. Flogger
No, I asked for a flogger, what this thing?” – Jerry, Satanic barista
Did you mean you wanted a “whip” when you asked for a flogger? Yes, you probably did. A flogger is a multi-tailed scourge usually made of soft leather, while a whip is a single strip or length of cord used to produce a sharp CRACK sound for directing or herding animals (or subs). The core difference between being flogged and whipped is in your stance. The noise achieved from flogging can sound like a thud, with an enjoyable stinging sensation that can be as soft as a feather or as sharp as a knife cutting your skin. So, between a whip and flogger, which one is right for you? You’ll have to practice and discover that for yourself before you ask: “Do I want a whip or a flogger?”
3. Catfighting
“GLOW got cancelled because no one wants to keep watching a show about cat fights! – Jimmy from HR
What is a catfight? Two women pounding the living shit of each other on a mat is wrestling, not a catight. The wrestling match may or may not be for the sexual enjoyment of an audience, but it’s wrestling just the same. Catfights are meant to be sexy and low-stakes, and not an actual brawl that will end in a victor. When we’re watching a true catfight, we’re all victors. Catfighting is more like two pairs of breasts in an inelegant and chaotic dance.
4. Hotwife
“A female cuckold is called a hotwife!” – Jason from Accounting
So what’s the difference between cuckolding and hotwifing? A “hotwife” is a married woman who has sexual relationships outside of her marriage, with the full knowledge and consent of her husband. It tends to lack the humiliation element that is so vital to the husband’s sexual pleasure in cuckolding. A hotwife’s husband gets turned on by watching his partner get fucked by another cock, and he takes pride in his wife’s pleasure. No room for shame there!
5. Fetish
“My God, somebody needs to stop me, but I have such a fetish for pastels ” – Jonathan from San Francisco.
Having a fetish, as in a sexual fetish specifically, from the era of Freud and academic sexology, does not mean you have a preference or having a strong affinity for something, nor refer to any type of damaged or broken pathology. A sexual fetish a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to to a object, piece of clothing, body part, etc. So what’s the difference between a fetish and a kink? Short answer: there’s a lot of overlap, and I’m not a sexual therapist or Magic-8 ball, so don’t ask me.
No. 6 – Smothering
“Smother me with your ass, but not too hard.” – Your ex
Smothering and breath-play are no joke. They require communication and trust, so you are probably referring to facesitting. Facesitting, also known as “queening” or “kinging,” is a sexual practice in which one partner sits on or over the other’s face, typically to allow oral-genital or oral-anal contact, and is different from the intense act of smothering. Smothering is a type of breath-play fetish where a Dom mounts their partner and envelopes their partner’s face, nose, and mouth with their vagina, anus, or testicles. It’s a little more intense then some in-your-face oral action. You’ll want to know which one you’re asking for…
7. Shibari
“I’m an expert at Shirbari, so we should get out of here and head back to my place.” Chad from Omege Beta Delta
Is it bondage or is it Shirbari? Rope-play is a form of bondage that uses uses rope as a tool for connection, intimacy, and pleasure. One person uses rope to tie another person. Shibari is a type of rope-play—but it’s so much better, and is also referred to as Japanese rope-play. Shibari literally translates to “to tie” or “to bind,” and is a specific type of rope-play that refers to intricate and beautiful knots and patterns used to restrain and give sensation to the body. It’s like bondage, but high art. Get it right. Generally, if you know how to do it, you don’t have to brag about it.
8. Pony Play
“Isn’t pony play where gay guys dress up like dogs?” – Bobby from Marketing
Equestrians unite! But don’t confuse a puppy with a cart horse. Pup-play is BDSM roleplay where people imitate adolescent canine behavior in order to get off. When done with other pups, it’s considered a “mosh,” and it happens often at leather bars all across the globe. Pony play refers to a type of BDSM roleplay in which one partner takes on the role of a young equine (a pony), taking on its mannerisms and the look. The three types of roles in pony play are; cart ponies, in which the pony pulls a cart; riding ponies, in which the pony is symbolically ridden by the partner; and show ponies, where the pony displays some type of show-horse skill, while also being outfitted for an exhibition. Which one are you?
9. Cuck
“Only a cuck would take his girlfriend’s needs into consideration.” – Too many men
“Cuck” isn’t supposed to refer to a person whose POV you don’t like, nor are they worthy of your casual mockery. It’s not meant to be derogatory, despite the humiliation aspect. And, as stated before, cuckolding is NOT the same as hotwifing. What is a cuckold then? A cuckold is a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful, often regarded as an object of derision, who derives sexual pleasure from the humiliation and his submission to his wife’s partners (or “bulls”).
10. Sissification
“We are currently living through the sissification of America” – Rodrick, Crossfit mercenary
Sissification is a sexual kink, not a detrimental process or pathology affecting any given guy who appears responsive to a partner’s needs. It cannot be something forced onto a partner. Submissives of all stripes give you (the Dom) power through their consent. So what is sissfication as a kink? Sissification involves a man or masculine-presenting partner who is made to become feminine by a dominant partner. It’s not something mothers do to their sons, unless the roleplay session between two consenting adults involves such a fantasy. Every good man needs to be sissified once a while.
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