The cynic in us may say that love is just a lie, but marriage is as real as it gets! Consummating the Marriage from directors Joanna Angel and David Lord is an exclusive on HotMovies! Joanna Angel’s sexy feature shows us two married couples whose sexual prowess is only as intense as the deceptions their matrimonies are built upon. Relative to modern history, love has only recently come into the equation of marriage. The concept of marriage is almost misunderstood as that glow called love. Here are ten myths about marriage that you won’t believe most of us still take at face value.
1. Love Will Set You Free
Scientists and researchers agree that love is mercurial, and cannot be controlled or turned on or off. Love erupts from the dark depths of our filthy subconscious mind. Love is basic drive that evolved millions of years ago to push our attention on a romantic partner and begin the baby-making process. We’re all enslaved to a genetic drive deep within our own minds. Love (or mutual attraction) in marriage wasn’t important until about a century ago. Doesn’t sound like freedom if you ask me!
2. Marriage Has Always Been One Man, One Woman
It’s modern notions that tell us marriage has always been one husband and one wife. Matrimony has always been an evolving social institution through history. Modern Western views of marriage are actually an outlier, and there are examples in history of marriage between people of the same gender. In some places in history, marriage defined the roles of each participant, regardless of gender. This helps explain why same-sex marriage has been historically rare, but there are examples. In ancient Rome, Emperor Nero married his boy slave Sporus and treated him like a housewife. Some West African societies have allowed women to have “female husbands.” Any subsequent children of the “female wife” were recognized as heirs of the “female husband.” Some Native American societies made a distinction between “woman’s work” and “man’s work,” allowing same-sex marriages where two gender roles were represented. History is wild, isn’t it?
3. Forever or BUST
Pump those breaks; if you’re married, changes are high that it might not be forever. The statistic has long since been a cliche, but it still seems to hold true: about 50% of marriages will end in divorce (on average). Researchers estimate that 41% of all first marriages end in divorce and 60% of second marriages end up withering on the vine. Your marriage, statically anyway, may not be forever, but hope springs eternal!
4. You Have to Stop at Just One
Sure, bigamy is illegal, but so what? In recent history, bigamy is looked down upon and is also a crime, but polygamy in marriage has been very common throughout history. Look at all the Biblical men who took wives as a hobby: from Jacob, to King David, to everyone’s favorite wife-herder Solomon. It’s believed that polygamy was an ideal that high-status men aspired to. In a few cultures, one woman married several different men, and there have even been some rare instances of group marriages!
5. You’re a Big, Stupid Loser if You’re Not Partnered
Because fuck all of those single people, right? Modern society favors people who partner up, get married, and start families. But recently, many people, especially younger people (the millennials strike again!) are choosing to wait to get married, or to forgo the institution completely. The institution’s grip on younger people seems to be becoming more tenuous as the years pass, and if you’re single by choice or by circumstance, you’re minority is growing fast!
6. No More Sex?
A rather cruel adult nursery rhyme goes, “Vows are said, end of head.” A popular modern myth on marriage life is that once you say “I do,” the headaches will begin. But here’s the thing: studies show that even your grandparents are still fucking, and good for them! Recent studies do show that some younger, single people are engaging in sex less, but if you’re married long-term, other than the occasionally slow period, many married couples enjoy sex with each other long after the honeymoon has ended.
7. Don’t Go to Bed Angry
This is not always the best blanket rule to follow in a marriage. There are situations in life where going to bed angry may be A-okay. It’s a little complicated, because conflict styles are different for different people. Depending on you and your partner, just hitting the hay might be the best course of action. Raising the heart rate before bed in conflict is not the best course to go for a good night’s sleep, and it’s best to be refreshed rather than even angrier that next morning due to exhaustion. Depending on your temperament, you don’t have to overwhelm yourself before sleep because of a platitude.
8. Extramarital Affairs Are BAD!
Dishonesty is always pernicious in a relationship, but an extramarital affair is not necessarily the sign of the end of trust in a relationship or the relationship itself. Monogamy became the guiding principle for Western marriages sometime between the sixth and the ninth centuries. Until the 19th century, men (of course) had wide latitude to engage in extramarital affairs. Attiutudes and tolerance to sex ouside marital bonds are slowly becoming more socially acceptable. Being monogamous isn’t for everyone, and an honest, open marriage can sometimes help strengthen relationship bonds over time.
9. The Church Has Always Been UP in There!
Marriages in the West were originally contracts between the families of two people, with the Catholic Church and the government pretty much keeping their noses out of it. Until the 1500s, the Church accepted a couple’s word that they had exchanged marriage vows, without witnesses or corroborating evidence needed. In 1215, the Catholic Church decreed that couples had to publicly post notices of an upcoming marriage in the local parish, to minimize the frequency of invalid marriages, which he Church eliminated in back the 1980s.
10. A Cure For Loneliness
Sharing a life with someone is not a guarantee to squash that lonely feeling that might linger from time to time. Marriage is an explicit commitment to another human being, but your feelings of connection to a spouse may not be enough to fill in the emotional holes in your life, and a therapist may be a better bet to overcome any underlying problems that a spouse may not be able to alleviate. Besides, dying alone gets a really BAD rep. Think about it!
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