Valentine’s Day can seem like a day of spending money and fake love forced upon us by the puppet masters up above, and in some ways it is, but it’s also a day that can be filled with fun sexual exploration and that’s what HotMovies is all about! We know and understand how demanding and stressful V-Day can be, and since we already have you covered on the movie front we wanted to throw a sexxxy helpful gift guide your way. Everything listed is fun, can be used with the love of your life or your latest boo thang, and will help bring your wildest fantasies to life. Get those shopping carts ready and be prepared to knock this Valentine’s Day out of the park!
1. Sexopoly
Sex Games are always a great way to get some grown folk things started, especially on Valentine’s Day. Pour a generous glass of your favorite adult beverage, get comfy around the board game, and let the fun begin. What makes Sexopoly so fun is that it combines business savvy with sex themes and if you’re feeling particularly loose you can invite your freaky friends over to play with you and your partner. By the end of it all you could be the owner of your very own adult empire or you could be butt assed naked with cherry flavored nipple balm being licked off your chest…either way you can count yourself a winner!
2. BJ Blast – Strawberry
Speaking of licking flavors off of bodies, everyone meet BJ Blast. Pop rocks meet oral sex in a variety of flavors for individual taste and a fun fucking time for under 2 bucks. Now, full disclosure I’m a gold star lesbian, born and raised, so I’ve never even seen a dingaling in real life let alone put one in my mouth, but I can tell you flavored lube is the shit and this one makes eating coochie a brand new experience! All you have to do is put a few in your mouth and go down town with all that fizzy popping goodness adding to the mix. It’s doesn’t get too sticky when using it and one packet it more than enough for two people. I suggest keeping this stocked all year round.
3. Clone-A-Willy Kit – Glow In The Dark
There’s no way I was writing this list without Empire Labs Clone-A-Willy Glow in the Dark kit. If you’re looking for something new, creative, and exciting to do this V-Day with your guy this is it! We all know dudes are way too obsessed with their penises (enter unsolicited dick pic here) and what better way to make him feel extra special (even if only for a night) than straight up cloning that fucker!? Seriously, this may be the most thoughtful gift he’s ever gotten on Valentine’s Day and it’s guaranteed to be a good time. The instructions are simple and easy to follow and within 24 hours you have the perfect cloned realistic dildo that your man can proudly brag about and use with you. Remember, sharing is caring.
4. Obsess Me Water Based Lube
Lube doesn’t have to be something that’s used every time you have sex, but if you’re looking to spice it up and maybe push yourself past your limits (think stroke count fellas) you’ll definitely want some on deck and Obsess Me’s water based lubricant is one of the best out there. The fact that it’s water based means it’s versatile in how it can be used and what toys you can use it with, plus you don’t get any of that sticky gooey after feeling left behind. There’s no fragrance, it’s FDA approved, gentle and easy to use and clean up, and it’s made in the US. You can waste your time searching around for a better product but I just did the work for you so please, trust me, pick up a tube of this stuff, and have the time of your life all night long! You don’t even have to thank me in the morning.
5. Fetish Fantasy Incredible Sex Stool
You can’t put a price on a happy sex life any day of the year, but that shit is especially true on Valentine’s Day because you know it’s going to be remembered and if your partner is anything like mine it’ll be mentioned more than a time or two. Luckily Pipedream’s Fetish Fantasy Incredible Sex Stool comes in at under $100 and is something that you’ll use throughout the year. Yes, it adds an element of closeness to your positions and that can be appealing this time of year but I say fuck all of that. This stool enhances your stroke and longevity by providing extra leverage, holding up to 300lbs, and allowing you to explore positions you normally couldn’t. Trust me, when you aren’t the strongest person in the world (all muscles get a little shaky after a while) that is extremely important! It’s easy to clean, you can incorporate other toys like handcuffs or ropes, and you’ll probably find yourself pulling it out more than you originally planned.
6. Cloud 9 Health and Wellness Massager
This one is easy…everyone NEEDS to own a vibrator. They work wonders on a clitoris and we’ve all seen them work magic on dicks and nuts too, especially if a little bondage is involved. Cloud 9’s is pretty dope because it’s rechargeable, water proof, and come with 3 extra tips that each specialize in driving your body completely insane in their own way. If that sounds too good to be true let me tell you know it’s only $50 on the regular and currently on sale because we love you. It’s the perfect gift! Plus it has seven different modes and you get a cute little black storage to keep everything discreetly tucked away when it’s not in use. I love little storage bags.
7. Kinky Me Softly Bondage Kit
For our Valentine adventure and thrill seekers the Rianne S Kinky Softly Bondage is great for kink beginners and experts alike. Looking to dive into nipple play? This gift has you covered. Maybe you want to get your whip and chain on? No problem, you’re covered. Hell there’s even a blindfold for those looking to taste a sense or two away! It’s fun and compact, and you can use soap and water to wipe everything down. Imagine the look on your partner’s face when they open this baby up…
8. Trinity Vibes Remote Control Cock Ring
Cock rings can be tricky. Some are too tight, some are too loose, others are crazy hard to clean, and none of those are experiences you want on a special day when you’re trying to impress and excite. Trinity is an expert in men’s pleasure and their Vibes Remote Control Rechargeable Silicone Cock Ring provides a great experience for couples of all ages. The remote allows for one player to control the other’s experience with 3 speeds and 4 patterns and it’s water proof so you can enjoy it in the shower or the pool or any other body of water your heart desires. Orgasm play and restriction is an intense way for couples to get closer and this cock ring can be perfect for just that.
9. The 9’s Vibrofinger Ribbed Finger Massager
Oh man, this one is love! I know, not surprising for a lesbian to love a finger massager, but I’m telling you this thing is awesome! Finger fucking is another way to please your partner and have a little control over their body and reactions, and this ribbed vibrating massagers from Icon Brands is definitely something you’ll want in your sex drawer regardless of the holiday. It turns your fingers into a robot and enhances any fingering situation with dual clit stimulations. You can’t beat that! There’s even a wrist strap so you can ensure it stays properly attached while you use your other hand to masturbate or grab a nipple. It’s small enough to pocket and travel with while still packing a huge stimulating punch.
10. Lux Fetish 7 Piece Bed Spreader Restraint System
This is another one designed to help you explore and push boundaries in the bedroom and Valentine’s Day is the perfect day for it. Lux Fetish gives us a restraint system that lets you play with control and positions with very little set up. BDSM can be a little intimidating if you think it’s all hardcore bruising punishment, but even the look of this 7 piece Bed Spreader is welcoming and you can take it on the go with you to late night rendezvous or hotel hookups on the fly. The possibilities are endless with 4 adjustable straps and the ability to hook up add ons. This might not be something you’ll pull out every night but it’s sure to leave your lover remembering this Valentine’s Day for years to come.
BONUS! Fuck My Silly Bubble Butt
Okay, so this one is my personal favorite and I had to share it! All you have to do is say bubble butt fast 5 times in a row and experience the pure joy that brings you to know this toy is all about fun. Even while you’re banging this wonderful jiggly ass I imagine a huge smile crosses the face. Now $420 is a lot to spend on a toy but we can all dream and pretend we get to walk by and smack it each and every day, like some sort of good luck charm. If I ever win the lottery, fuck student loans, this is first on my list. Happy Valentine’s Day everybody, I hope we all get lucky!