For my very first virtual reality porn experience, I thought it only fitting to tie-in with the greatest cultural phenomenon of the last three months: The Last of Us. I watch The Last of Us: A XXX Parody from VRCosplayX, from beginning to end in full, body-tingling virtual reality to get a grasp on the VR experience and ask the question: what are we missing?
The basics
The Last of Us: A XXX Parody is based on the 2013 hit video game The Last of Us from Naughty Dog studios, which, after development hell, was turned into a mega-hit HBO series late last year.
The basic plot revolves around a guy named Joel in a post-pandemic/zombie apocalypse, guiding a young teen girl, Ellie, across the dangerous (zombies and raiders) and unforgiving country to potentially find a cure for the disease that has wiped out society world-wide. While a somewhat derivative zombie plot, the magic comes in the form of the character narratives and depth of human despair that is able to be articulated.
The Last of Us: A XXX Parody brings us two popular characters from the game/series, Ellie and Riley (appropriately aged up and played by Hazel Moore and Kira Noir, respectively), and by proxy, horned up as well. After all, these girls have just spent their whole lives in a destitute waste land, now they want to feel good.
Meanwhile, you, the POV character, come across them and you’ve got the only man dong around, so they’re very quick to rip their clothes off and start touching themselves and you.
Full immersion
I could give you a whole dissertation on every interaction between myself, Ellie, and Riley, but that’s not what we’re here for, so I’ll give you the highlights.
Her smooth porcelain cheeks struck like thunder against my thighs. A whipping crack with each contact, her jiggling booty dough collapsed and folded like marshmallow between a S’mores sandwich, before regaining its shape for another impending crash. I saw the gorgeous woman, adult Ellie, smiling in front of me, top off, jeans ripped apart, and working hard to please me. Her fit lesbian Firefly rebel girlfriend, Riley, tenderly servicing her nipples to make sure she had the best possible time. I smiled, too. I thought of the life we could have together if this went well. The three of us, living in their little encampment and pleasing each other when we see fit.
(If you’re a fan of the games or the TV series, check this VR parody out. It’s way better. Trust me.)
It took a moment to remember this was just a virtual reality experience, and I hadn’t been so lucky in real life. Of course, then I remembered I can spend every night with these girls, reliving this exact experience and seeing that same joy on their faces every time they see me. As some person famously said about professional wrestling, “it’s still real to me, dammit!”
Therein lies some of the beauty of VR porn. I wasn’t seeing unfolded laundry across the room at the same time I was watching – there were no distractions to remind me I wasn’t really there, only their heavenly bodies and lovely faces to focus upon. I truly felt I was partaking in a raunchy threesome with two happily willing lesbians. I may have spent my fair share of time on liberal college campuses but I can tell you I never got to do that one in real life.
Way better than just touching yourself
It’s not merely the immersion that’s impressive, but the suspension of disbelief that you’re not actually masturbating. Sure, masturbating can be great, especially with a partner, but it’s a whole different ballgame when you can’t see your own hands, only your phantom erect penis and lesbians riding it like it’s their secret-time toy.
Your brain can easily be tricked into feeling like you’re actually having sex. Of course, it’s doesn’t feel exactly the same. I’m a believer in the raw power of the human spirit, so real sex will always win, but it’s certainly closer to getting down with another person than just sitting alone and masturbating.
That being said, imagine doing naughty things to your favorite pornstars. Want to imagine what it feels like to do anal on a specific star? What about getting your face sit on? I’m looking forward to seeing what it’s like to seduce, have sex with, and be intimate with my all my favorite performers.
The future is here (nearly)
While we may not be there yet, we’re awfully close from going from virtual reality to programmed reality. This is the stepping stone. Joke of a human being Elon Musk is already killing all those monkeys to get brain chips rolling out to the public sooner rather than later. So I posit this: how long before we have something to connect to our brains and simulate the physical touch and feeling of a homegrown vagina?
Celebrity pseudo-thinker narcissists like to claim our reality is a simulation, but the best evidence against that is this simple thought: if we were living in a simulation don’t you think it’d be a lot easier to just have sex all time? That’s obviously the first step that will be taken with these potential brain chips: letting us endlessly mate with whomever we desire, falling into a sea of naked bodies, caught in a trance of infinite orgasms to the end of time. An existential thought for sure, but a scenario I’m personally looking forward to.