Sex can be exciting, intimidating, and overwhelming, sometimes all at once. As humans, we stumble our way through early awkward encounters, learn what works for us and our partners, and grow into mature, satisfying sex lives. For some, guidance comes from older, more experienced friends. For others, it comes from the pages of a book (Lynda Maderas’s The What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Boys has schooled many an adolescent on the proverbial birds and bees). For the cast of Moms Teach Sex #31, the source is more unorthodox: stepmom. It’s an unconventional but effective way to learn, as the action in the movie amply demonstrates.
In scene one, Lexi Luna and stepdaughter Liz Jordan set their sights on houseguest Ryan Driller. He’s a colleague of Lexi’s husband who needs a place to stay for a few nights. Plopped placidly onto the couch with boredom in his eyes, Ryan makes the perfect target for naughty Lexi and Liz. “He’s so cute. Are we going to mess with him?” Liz purrs. “Abso-fucking-lutely,” confirms Lexi. They “accidentally” spill water on his pants, get him out of his wet clothes, and pounce. It’s here that the scene takes an unexpectedly kinky turn when Lexi and Liz admit that their true dream is for Ryan to get Liz pregnant. Maybe it’s just part of their scandalous games-playing, or maybe it’s their true intent, but either way, it adds a piquant flavor to the scene. Driller plays the witless, sincere houseguest role to perfection, overwhelmed by the sexual aggressiveness of his two hosts. Luna and Jordan establish the movie’s casting formula, which pairs a busty older performer with a slimmer, petite actor to sell the stepmom/stepdaughter visual.
Scene two opens with an arm wrestling match. (Of course it does!) Kimmy Kimm and boyfriend Juan El Caballo Loco are battling it out when Juan’s stepmom, Ember Snow, enters to give them a few pointers. After demonstrating leg wrestling to Kimmy, the two begin twerking in front of a delighted — and increasingly aroused — Juan. When the exercise somehow makes their pants simultaneously split at the crotch, well, it’s go time. Ember decides she can teach this sweet young couple a much more passionate form of wrestling. Juan, whose meek countenance belies the intensity of his sexual energy, soaks up every moment of Ember’s lesson. Like scene one, it contains a perverse twist. At the very end, just after Juan empties his load over Kimmy and Ember, Ember’s husband strolls in to witness the aftermath of the debauchery. Cleverly, the filmmakers keep him just offscreen, allowing the audience to step into this role of inadvertent voyeur to scandal.
In the movie’s third scene, Jamie Michelle decides to intervene when she walks in on some clumsy foreplay between stepson Juan El Caballo Loco and girlfriend Kylie Quinn. His techniques are painfully awkward, even if Kylie seems quite delighted in their repetitive simplicity. Jamie shows him the proper way to stimulate a woman’s breasts, offering her own big boobs as his spot to practice. “You’ve got to be more confident,” she asserts, in a slice of advice that helps Juan find his groove. Before long, he’s dazzling both women in the third of the movie’s four B/G/G threesomes.
The movie’s final scene rises up as the best of the bunch, thanks to Leana Lovings and a stellar pair of supporting players. Odette Fox discovers stepson Codey Steele and friend Leana bickering over control of the remote. In a creative moment of conflict resolution, she suggests they work through their aggression by roleplaying as husband and wife. It works a little too well, though, because when Odette returns a few minutes later, Leana and Codey are having sex on the couch. Leana confesses that the roleplay she’d really like to act out involves Odette scolding them and teaching Leana the best ways to satisfy Codey. Initially, Odette declines, but she’s actually just pausing to get into character. She bursts back into the scene to show Leana exactly how to blow Codey’s sweet little mind.
Baskin’s bottom line
More than 30 installments in, the Moms Teach Sex series has mastered its formula as surely its signature MILFs have mastered the bedroom. The casting choices of busty paired with petite hammers home the older/younger theme even when the ages of the performers don’t completely jibe with their characters. The “impregnate me” theme of scene one and the surprise entrance of the husband in scene two were welcome, perverse twists to the tried-and-true storylines. And Leana Lovings continue to quite literally charm the pants off any and all comers. If sex education were conducted by the Moms Teach Sex cast, the world would be a much kinkier, and much more satisfied, place.
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