As we watch porn on our smartphones, it may be hard to believe that they were making porn all the way back in 1976. And not just any porn, but parody porn! Alice In Wonderland parodies the classic tale, and serves as an adult musical. The movie was a top-grossing independent hit that featured plenty of colorful fantasy settings and, of course, 70s bush.
Down the rabbit hole
Naïve hot virgin Alice, played by Kristine DeBell, falls through an interdimensional portal in the library right after rebuffing the advances of hot guy William. She’s rocketed into a fantasy land full of lush green nature and colorful growing fungi. She comes across some strange and freaky creatures, and it’s all fairly trippy and charming. But once she’s alone she takes her clothes off and starts machine gun tapping that bushy clit of hers. She’s gorgeous sitting in her naked flesh by the water. A true goddess of nature, her fingers become engulfed beneath her massive protrusion of bush and she revels in the physical and mental majesty of her new found universe. After a good bean bouncing, she’s all horned up and blows the Mad Hatter’s dick like a breezy misty spring day.
Hard Humpty
Nancy Dare and Terry Hall play hot nurses who roll around in the grass and make sweet lesbian love to one another. It’s a beautiful scene full of slow rolling and dragging skin across skin. But after that, we see Humpty Dumpty fall off his wall, and they use the new girl, Alice, suck his dick. This seems to be a way for him to regain his energy. Seeing Alice’s earnest reactions to his backstory, all while she sticks his cock in her mouth, is very endearing.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum have an energetic and joyful pillow fight. They are naked and hopping around, and it soon evolves into wet sloppy oral sex. Alice watches, being exposed to the wonders of free sex and love. Afterwards, Alice and friends sing a dancing showtune.
The Royal Court
We’re treated to another great tune at the Royal Court, filled with sexy scantily clad women dancers. It’s a delightful introduction to the importance and seriousness of the court. Plenty of titties flapping. Alice finds herself at the court, and she’s talking out of turn. The only way to get order back into the court is charge Alice as guilty. As celebration they perform a massive orgy. It’s a creatively shot scene, showing different partners performing different acts. Some are merely witnesses, drinking tea off the bare ass of someone performing a blowjob. We have cuts to big hard dicks cumming on backs, all with a fun upbeat jazz track playing.
Escape & return
Alice is treated to a sensual cleaning and massage, all over her body, around her crevices, curves, tits, nipples, and pussy. The two gorgeous women rubbing her down begin to kiss and sexually touch her. But the Queen of Hearts arrives and demands the aroused Alice go down on her perfect body. Alice starts with her nipples and fondles them gently. She’s intrigued, awakened. She bends over and plants her tongue on the Queen’s erect pink titties. She is fully entranced as she makes her way down to her pussy and digs in. “Don’t stop!” the Queen yells. Alice licks more rapidly like a dog trying to get the last bit of food in a bowl. The Queen is relaxed and Alice uses the opportunity to escape with the Mad Hatter. What a wacky adventure!
The finale comes with Alice being chased off a cliff, jumping into a body of water. She comes to back in her reality, with her good pal William consoling her. Now back in her time, she’s learned to love the wonders of hot sex. Her tits are already hanging out when he finds her, and she takes his shirt of and engages. Her plump breasts are carefully sucked and cradled. They get naked and she goes straight mouth to dick, using her newfound powers of sluttery. She sits on top of him and moves her cock to enter inside her. “Thank you, Mad Hatter,” she airily exclaims while she rides and her breasts are fondled, using her newfound powers of sluttery she learned from Wonderland. The movie ends with Alice taking William to Wonderland, where they can live out their fantasy of having really good sex all the time.
The professor’s opinion
It’s a classic for a reason. From the intimate, coordinated, tension-building sex scenes to the creative use of dances and musical numbers, Alice In Wonderland is a shining example of the true art you can find in the adult industry. The set pieces were dazzling, and there was great care taken in the writing and pacing. It even has a core theme of self-discovery and breaking free from your repressive chains. The only thing holding Alice back was in her own mind, and once she made the decision, she had everything she ever wanted.
